me and my friend

we are not friendly anymore
we have not talked for so long
so long ago, me and my friend, we were friendly
and now we don’t see each other no more

i would make a terrible therapist.

i’ll talk about your feelings, but if you come to me just to stubbornly tell me that you’re going to kill yourself, no matter what i say, i’m going to punch you in the side of the head, breathe some fire and then destroy tokyo. i will go godzilla on your ass in a hot second.

suicide is the stupidest idea anyone has ever had, in history, ever.

i love

• october through february
• how the sun sets later now
• soft tacos with lots of hot sauce
• they might be giants
• running into people that i know ( but not literally )
• getting so bored in the middle of lowe’s that i start practicing dance steps
• winter hats

cast your shadow

in my direction
por favor ¿?¿?

headless marie’s bakery and bookshop

that’s what i’m calling the bakery/bookstore i will ( hopefully ) someday own. you know .. “let them eat cake” .. ?

i thought it made perfect sense.

there will also be live music and/or dancing on certain nights of the week, assuming the facilities have room. if not, i’ll make room. put the bookshelves on wheels and have folding tables or something.

maybe i’m just melding together things i love the most ( baking, books, music, dancing ) to create some idealistic dream-job that will never come to fruition, but is it all that bad if it motivates me to pursue this seriously? i don’t plan on going it alone ( me? file taxes correctly? what’s that you say? ), but baking is something i love to do and finding out that there is a course at greenville tech that offers up a certificate in baking and pastry arts, only served to bump this little scheme up and make me go for it completely.

but wouldn’t you know it, now that i find out about this, i find myself far more attracted to the idea of being covered in flour all day, selling books and making sweet things and less money, than rubbing people down on a cruise ship and getting paid a helluva lot more.

i don’t care though.
and should i, really?

this christmas, i would like to attend midnight mass.

it’s something i’ve always wanted to do, but have somehow never been able to. there is, of course, my slight apprehension about going alone for the first time. i have never even been in a catholic church and would not know what to do and what not to do. ideally, i would just like to slip in unnoticed and sit quietly the entire time. i doubt i would take communion, i just want to be there.

unfortunately, my only semi-close catholic friend lives hours and hours away. so, the trouble is finding someone who:

• isn’t particularly busy on christmas eve ( be it with family parties, etc. etc. )
• also wants to sit someplace completely unfamiliar through something they may or may not know anything about
• can at least vaguely appreciate the service, even just asthetically. i’m not necessarily there for some divine re-awakening either.

whenever i bring it up to people, most shy away ( with some, you’d think i was suggesting a three-way ) or don’t really seem as enthused about the idea as i am.

now, granted, i’m not as well-versed in the catholicism ( or all religions ) as i’d like to be, the overall subject has never ceased to interest me. what i do know, i’ve read from textbooks, seen in documentaries and have been told by other people. i have yet to dedicate myself to reading any sort of sacred text, but that doesn’t mean my curiosity is waning. my general attitude towards religion in general is difficult for me to explain, even to myself. the term ‘agnostic’ is a godsend ( pun not intended ), simply because i can’t entirely consider myself an athiest, but i can’t commit to any sort of faith either. i’m on the fence, and i just want to feel the peace i think can come from sitting in a dimly-lit catholic church on christmas eve, through the purported hour of christ’s birth, etc. etc. this is my holiday wish.

huh .. i suppose we can.

i woke up this morning, thinking it was just a dream. turning on the news, i gratefully realized it was nothing but complete and utter reality. lovely, lovely lovely. i was happy last night, and i was happy today and i’m happy tonight. sure, we couldn’t've done much worse after 8 years of george w. bush, but i think we’ve chosen the best possible person ( of the two ) to lead us out of the crap we’ve gotten into.

sure, they’re all more or less crooks, politicians –i agree with my father, but when faced with two choices, you’ve inevitably gotta pick one. although i’d loved to have written in ted nugent or estelle getty, i’m confident that, for the first time in a long time, we’ve done the best with what we were given and i don’t think we’ll regret it.

you name it

i feel like feathers
on the back of a bird
i feel like the feathers
stuck back in third
the sun kicks a football
over some trees
and i just feel like feathers
on the back of a bird
on the back of some bird

i’m cracking walnuts
with a wishbone
i’m cracking walnuts
how should i have known
jupiter’s cheering loudly
over this crowd
and i’m just cracking walnuts
with a wishbone
with a wishbone 

by amy

i have no idea what to call this.