i’m writing again. i can’t explain why. the only possible explanation is that i’m no longer in any sort of .. er, relationship? if you wanna call it that way. anyhoo, i’m happy that i can at least do things like this.
it is a waltz
you have no use for
people tangling your lonely arms
arou
around
nd themselves you sigh
a mysteriolust body
or just food for wolves
1 2 3 between my two eyes
gi gi
you shimmered like
a fish always
poisoning the air in front
of our faces and i
should have thrown you back
you may be strong, even ancient
i think, breathing underwater
but every glittering scale
is an island
that you lose yourself on
ring ring, ring ring
that bird you find dead
in the heather when
the telephone is ringing
and with your feathers
you think she will finally fly
skinning
are you really
real bad news
spinning softly waiting
for a spill, for the thrill
and am i waiting
softly spinning
while you’re grinning
at the kill
constructive ciritcism is always welcome. as for everything else, i’ve got another game plan. i’m leaving on the 22nd to go to savannah until late october to work 7 days a week on an army base, to make money for a car. i know the car, i feel safe in it. i just have to get it, take driving lessons, and get my license. then i’m going to apply at johnson & wales college in charlotte for their baking and pastry arts program. i may feel lost at times, but at least having a battleplan of sorts makes up for alot of it.
and to hell with romance. i realized recently that i am actually capable of not trusting someone ( whereas i’m usually pretty gullible ). of course, this person, while wonderful had questionable intentions, and as much as i wish things with us were different ( you seriously have no idea ), a friend of mine once said something like, “wish in one hand, fuck someone in another … eitherway, you’re getting aids.” now i don’t know exactly what that means, but it makes me laugh everytime i think about it.
